Elwood's

from At Your Own Risk by CLIFFDIVER

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lyrics

Most of the time I have no idea who I am
Most of the time I’m just stumbling trying to survive
But everything gets clearer when I look at you
Most of the time all the voices inside they won’t quit
Most of the time I am nothing close to my unironic self
But everything gets clearer when I look at you

And everything I’ve done ‘til now, is to try and be a better man
But the sadness, comes creeping up beside my bed at night
And the liquor never asks what’s in my head
In my head

That was a year ago
And I still replay that shit
I never truly understood
How it could come to this
I’m not good enough, not for anyone
Especially myself

All this time I always blamed you, because if it was your fault then I wouldn’t have to change
And I really don’t think I’m capable of that right now
Could I find myself in the breakdown?
And if I fell from these heights, could I find myself in the breakdown?

Eventually I’ll get it right, get a therapist and sleep at night
Until then, I’m swimming for dry land
I even went to church again, it seems some bruises God won’t mend
Nothing’s really going as I planned
And I know that I should let you go, but I just can’t seem to so
Maybe I can drink you off, maybe I can drink you off my mind

I feel like blacking out, forgetting all this stress
These empty conversations, I’m already over them
I feel like blacking out - who’s blood is on my fist?
The only thing I need to know - is will it always be like this?

I feel like blacking out
(I’m not good enough, enough for anyone, especially myself)
Will it always be like this?

credits

from At Your Own Risk, released November 8, 2019

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CLIFFDIVER Tulsa, Oklahoma

TULSA ELEVATOR EMO POP

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